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bits and pieces of my thoughts

i write things sometimes -v-

"they can get married without me"

a combat doll and its new witches - 24.03.08

it's not exactly something you'd expect to say about the girls you fought night and day to finally live with, but responsibilites linger, and they don't call you a weapon for nothing. as nice as your new life is, it feels wrong to stay here.

if circumstances were different, you would've been here years ago. the three of you in a small but comfortable apartment, enough money to rarely be worried, actually living within the law, and the ghosts of your past finally leaving you in peace. but they aren't, so here you are, tired and burnt-out from years on the street, barely fitting in a crumbling apartment block on the outskirts of the city, a single stable job barely feeding you all, the weight of all the lives you've taken crushing you more than ever, and watching the two of them get married without you.

it's not all that surprising, really. you all knew it'd never be legal. besides, what benefit could they really get out of being married to a weapon like you? medical rights? you were more likely to end up dead in the streets across the ocean. joint taxes? you couldn't even pay taxes legally. maybe you could've gotten citizenship out of it but that would just make you a foreign national and put an even bigger target on your head.

24.05.10

Is this how it feels to be alive?

She stood atop what remained of the barricades, clad in black from head to heel. Seating her rifle against her shoulder, the feeling that she may finally have a human heart was the only thing occupying her mind.

She stood among a crowd of hundreds of others like her, all with their faces hidden under layers of black and weaponds fixed before them. Though few eyes burned as bright as hers.